oh dear me.

exchange one.
by sms

r : eh.. i think i'm going to apply to stanford. can you send me your stanford essays? thanks.
me : why?
r : so i know how not to write.

exchange two.
by msn

me : speaking of christmas, check this out. http://xmaswatch.blogspot.com
a : what's that?
me : reindeer porn. you'll like it.

exchange three.
conversation

me : you have the attention span of a doorstop.
e : no i don't.
me : yes, you do.
e : no i don't.
me : yes, you do.
e : no i don't.
me : yes, you do.
(pause)
e : i do what?